Tuesday, March 26, 2013

My new leash on life

I have not written in a while as I am trying to find a niche for my blog.  I have flip flopped between wanting to just write about life to writing about my animals.  Writing about work to writing about the latest news story that struck my fancy.  But I think I have figured it out.  I think starting April 1st I am going to blog about my day.  From what I am wearing and how I did my hair to what I have going on that day in my life.  I have decided not to write this blog for others but rather for myself, sort of a review of how my life has changed.  You see April 1, 2013 is a year to the date that I made one of the biggest decisions of my life and made a huge change....one that scared me to death and made me a little weak in the knees at the same time.  One that brought tears to my eyes but also ended up putting the best smile on my face.  April 1, 2012 was the day I decided I could no longer live a happy fulfilled life being in the marriage I was in and I decided to move out.
So here is the back story that will then lead into the beginning of my new blog process that i will hopefully stay up to date on.
I got married on November 7, 2009 to what I thought was a good match.  I knew it was never perfect but at that point in my life I truly believed it was the best it was ever going to get for me.  I had the beautiful big wedding with all the fixins and people were there that were not there for me but for my parents.  I had the gorgeous dress, 8 stunning bridemaids, and everything I thought I needed.........but the one thing missing was unconditional love.
We were married for 2.5 years with many ups and downs.  I moved out and moved back in, we went to counseling, I went to counseling alone, and I tried everything I thought of to make the marriage what I believed marriage was supposed to be, but nothing seemed to work.  After a LOT of prayer, counseling, thought, talking it out, tears, and consoling, I decided that the marriage was irreparable and it was time for me to spread my wings and be happy, so I moved out and filed for divorce.
Within days of filing I began to spread my wings, sit up straighter, laugh more, smile a lot bigger and feel like a brand new person.  I felt very guilty about that so I kind of kept it to myself and tried not to seem as if there was a new glow inside of me.  But for the first time in almost 4 years I saw the Kimberly I had missed being.
But after a few weeks I just could not not be the girl I had wanted to be so I stood tall, got a new haircut, a new pair of shoes and was ready to strut my stuff and be the girl I knew I wanted to be: Independent, Successful, Self Motivating, non drama, Happy, Lightfooted and my head screwed on straight.
Which brings me to my new amazing life.  I am the happiest I have ever been.  I love my life and everyone and every thing in it.  I am learning from new experiences daily and loving where I fit in.  I am with an incredible guy who loves me just as I am and motivates me to try new things.  I am searching job opportunities and keeping my ears open for ways I can improve myself.  I AM HAPPY and i have a positive and refreshing look on life and where i am headed and where I want to be.  I am living in the present and looking at it as a gift!!