Tuesday, March 26, 2013

My new leash on life

I have not written in a while as I am trying to find a niche for my blog.  I have flip flopped between wanting to just write about life to writing about my animals.  Writing about work to writing about the latest news story that struck my fancy.  But I think I have figured it out.  I think starting April 1st I am going to blog about my day.  From what I am wearing and how I did my hair to what I have going on that day in my life.  I have decided not to write this blog for others but rather for myself, sort of a review of how my life has changed.  You see April 1, 2013 is a year to the date that I made one of the biggest decisions of my life and made a huge change....one that scared me to death and made me a little weak in the knees at the same time.  One that brought tears to my eyes but also ended up putting the best smile on my face.  April 1, 2012 was the day I decided I could no longer live a happy fulfilled life being in the marriage I was in and I decided to move out.
So here is the back story that will then lead into the beginning of my new blog process that i will hopefully stay up to date on.
I got married on November 7, 2009 to what I thought was a good match.  I knew it was never perfect but at that point in my life I truly believed it was the best it was ever going to get for me.  I had the beautiful big wedding with all the fixins and people were there that were not there for me but for my parents.  I had the gorgeous dress, 8 stunning bridemaids, and everything I thought I needed.........but the one thing missing was unconditional love.
We were married for 2.5 years with many ups and downs.  I moved out and moved back in, we went to counseling, I went to counseling alone, and I tried everything I thought of to make the marriage what I believed marriage was supposed to be, but nothing seemed to work.  After a LOT of prayer, counseling, thought, talking it out, tears, and consoling, I decided that the marriage was irreparable and it was time for me to spread my wings and be happy, so I moved out and filed for divorce.
Within days of filing I began to spread my wings, sit up straighter, laugh more, smile a lot bigger and feel like a brand new person.  I felt very guilty about that so I kind of kept it to myself and tried not to seem as if there was a new glow inside of me.  But for the first time in almost 4 years I saw the Kimberly I had missed being.
But after a few weeks I just could not not be the girl I had wanted to be so I stood tall, got a new haircut, a new pair of shoes and was ready to strut my stuff and be the girl I knew I wanted to be: Independent, Successful, Self Motivating, non drama, Happy, Lightfooted and my head screwed on straight.
Which brings me to my new amazing life.  I am the happiest I have ever been.  I love my life and everyone and every thing in it.  I am learning from new experiences daily and loving where I fit in.  I am with an incredible guy who loves me just as I am and motivates me to try new things.  I am searching job opportunities and keeping my ears open for ways I can improve myself.  I AM HAPPY and i have a positive and refreshing look on life and where i am headed and where I want to be.  I am living in the present and looking at it as a gift!!

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Khaki and Kyle make me Smile......

So I have not been on here lately to post but I wanted to introduce my newest members to my little family because they certainly make me smile on a moment to moment basis.

Khaki is my 12 week old "torti" kitten.  She weighs in at a little less than 4 lbs and is my little snuggle buddy. She sleeps on my neck every night and does not move much unless her little sister wants to play.  She has quite the quiet personality and truly aims to please.  She loves the water....yes, I said water.  And every night while I take a bath she gets into the tub with me and curls up either on my leg, chest, or stomach and just hangs out.  She also enjoys the occasional sip of wine, beer, or mixed drink.....Ace Pear Cider being her favorite.  I truly think she thinks she is either a dog or a human being.
Kyle is my 9 week old Mancoon kitten.  She weighs in at just above 2 lbs and is a bit more stand offish than her sister Khaki.  She was handled a lot as a newborn by a 7 year old little girl who thought she was clearly a toy, so you have to proceed with a little more caution when trying to get to know Kyle.  She is not aggressive, just very timid.  She sleeps on her own pillow every night in the beginning and then slowly makes her way to the bed where she finds a place as close to my head as she can possibly get and she hunkers down for the evening.  Kyle is active though and loves to pounce on her "big" sister and then proceed to wrestle with her for the next hour, even if Khaki really would prefer not to.  Kyle is by far the "tough" one and is protective over Khaki!! 

Here are just a few pictures of Khaki and Kyle and their time together!!! 
 Khaki enjoying a bath

 At work with Mom

 My favorite place to lay

 Sweet little Sisters

 I snuggle with I want to 

 At work with mom, she has lots of things to get in to.

 Mom gave Kyle a bath and she was cold so I laid on her to keep her from shivering.....I'm a good big sister!!!

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Love Languages

I smile when I think about Love Languages.
Many years ago a gentleman named Gary Chapman wrote a book called, "The Five Love Languages", he had clearly done some research into the different ways that people love and like to be loved.  He lists out the Five different languages to be "Words of Affirmation", "Quality Time". "Receiving Gifts", "Acts of Service", and "Physical Touch."  He goes into great detail as to what each "language" means and why you may enjoy one over the other.  There may be things in your past that have made you that way or there may be one that is just easier for you to receive but however you got there, everyone has a love language.
But can those Love Languages change over time??
Can one person start out as a "Quality Time" person and then over time become an "Acts of Service" person? Does it change depending on your partner? What really goes into figuring out what  Love Language you are?
I know for me I used to be a "Words Of Affirmation" person.  I needed everyday to hear someone tell me I was good enough, or pretty, or special, or that I did good at something.  I would get down in the dumps and beat myself up if I did not hear "good" things about myself from other people.  I think for many people Words of Affirmation can be many different things, but for me it was being told I was ENOUGH the way that I am.  However, I am to a point now in my life where I believe I am ENOUGH and I don't necessarily need someone to confirm that. Now, don't get me wrong, it is still nice to hear that I am pretty or that I look nice, or whatever the kind words may be, but I do not wait on bated breath for them anymore in order to feel confident to walk out the door in the morning.
For me now I am a Physical Touch and Quality Time person.  I am at a place with myself where I have built my own confidence and I am my own person and now I just want to be with people.  I want to learn about them, where they came from and where they are going, or how they got to where they are today.  I love hearing about peoples lives, whether joyous or filled with struggle I just enjoy listening (and of course giving my 2 cents where I find fit).  I love to be close to people, not invading their personal bubble or allowing the invade mine, but just close to people in the sense that they don't feel alone.  I enjoy embracing people and feeling that connection with someone when I am around them.  Now, don't misunderstand me, I do not just walk around outside of my office and hug and kiss random strangers on the side of the road, but with people I meet through friends or family I like to shake their hand, give them a hug, or a slight kiss on the cheek, I feel that is a form of connection and trust.
I am sure many people read "Physical Touch" as a sexual thing and in some cases it is, however touch is not always sexual (something else I am learning).  Physical touch can mean so many things, it can be sexual, or it can be the small touch of the small of your back as your partner follows you into a room.  Physical touch can be the holding of hands, the brushing of feet while laying in bed or snuggling on the couch.  Physical touch can be the stroking of ones hair when they don't feel good, the tickle of the back, or the slight hand on the leg of the one you love.  Physical touch can be as simple as a hand shake, a friendly hug, or hello kiss.  It can also be a baby or child wrapping their arms around your neck and giving you a good kid hug.  Physical touch has so many meaning.
Gary Chapman has done even more studies to discover "Love Languages" for teens, in children, the 5 languages of appreciation in a work place, and many others.  If you are single, married, divorced, want to be married, or just dating around, I definitely recommend "The 5 Love Languages" as a read, if nothing else, it helps you get into yourself and learn things about how you love and want to be loved.
I smile when I think about Love Languages!!

Friday, August 24, 2012

I smile when I think about.......Puppies

I smile when I think about dogs.
I recently returned from a vacation in Texas and have moved in with my parents until my new place is ready on September 5th.  This morning while laying in my bed, I heard my dad get up and get Lexie, my parents Labradoodle, ready to go outside.   Lexie as curious as she is, poked her head in my bedroom door and just brought the biggest smile to my face.  Knowing she needed to go out to go potty I laid there and pretended not to see her, but she saw me and that was all it took.  Lexie, all 75 pounds of her, came bounding into bed with me and snuggled right down as if she hadn't seen me in ages.  Of course I guess dogs have no concept of time so as far as she was concerned a week was an eternity.
There is something about puppy dog eyes and that little whimper that makes my heart melt.  Lexie is a rescue pup from ARF and although I was not impressed with their overall adoption process Lexie is a fantastic dog that has brought much joy and excitement to my family's life.

There are not many dogs that I won't get down to their level and smush my face into theirs and inevitably start talking in some cutesy voice telling them what a cute "tooter face" they are.  Whether they are walking in the park, being carried in someones purse, or being a stray on the side of the road something in my body just screams, "go pet them".  I have been known to get on the floor or out of my car to pet a 90 lb pit bull on a 2 inch logging chain, a long haired chihuahua in White Owl (who later on bit my face), and Golden Retriever who had gotten out of his owners yard, and most recently it took everything in my not to pull over and remove a white pitbull 9 week old puppy from a gentleman's hands while he held it by its collar and allowed its feet to dangle.  Animals are the one creature on this planet that forgives immediately, loves unconditionally, and shows affection without it being shown to them first!

I cannot help but smile when I think about......DOGS!!

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

I smile when I think about Lo Detrich..

Anyone who has come in contact with Lo Detrich cannot imagine not smiling, not only because she always was but because she just exuberant.  I had the privilege of meeting Lo when she was very young.  The Detrich family were members out at Tulsa Country Club and her older sister, Jane and I had gone to school together at Monte Casino.  Lo was a bright, vivacious, giggly girl who always seemed to be having the best of days, even when she really wasn't.  Lo was diagnosed at birth with CF, a disease that attacks the lungs.  But everyday, even as a young child Lo never seemed to let her illness get in her way.  I remember cheering Lo on as she swam the Fourth of July races at the Country Club, and she always got 1st, 2nd, or 3rd.  I never remember seeing her sit on the sidelines in fear of participating, she was always right in the middle of the group!! Lo had an addicting smile, she could brighten up any room.  Lo is the same age as my brother so I had the privilege of watching her grow up, through grade school and high school.  Although I was not involved a lot in her life I did get to keep up with her, and now thanks to modern day technology (Facebook and Caring Bridge) I have been able to keep up more.
Lo's family and friends have been by her side the entire fight, fighting right along side of her.  Lo seemed to be Lo's biggest cheerleader.  She knew she wanted to beat the odds not only for herself but for all of those struggling with CF and those to come after her.  She has left a HUGE footprint in the sand of bringing awareness and finding a cure for CF.  Her fight was never in vain but rather in selfless love for everyone she met.  Lo is a spectacular and beautiful woman and her smile and legacy will love on forever!!